


it goes on and on

by morebooksplease



Category: Anne of Green Gables (TV 1985) & Related Fandoms, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: 100 reasons, Aged-Up Anne Shirley, Aged-Up Gilbert Blythe, Anne and Gilbert, Anne with an E - Freeform, Anniversary, Dorks in Love, F/M, Future, Marriage, Still cant tag, i made this as a 100 milestone on my instagram but imma post it here too., yall gilbert has hella heart eyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-11-04 12:40:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20585075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morebooksplease/pseuds/morebooksplease
Summary: Gilbert reached into the second drawer and pulled out a well-worn piece of paper, one he’d had since he was 17 and had first fallen for Anne. He smoothed the sheet, careful to not irritate the wrinkled corners, reading the first line and cringing at the handwriting of his youth.Originally, he’d written it to get over her. Foolishly hoping that he could discern her faults and maybe, maybe, begin to regard her as only a friend. However, he soon discovered that learning of her flaws and other details only made her more endearing to him. After that, he stopped cataloging them, out of fear of unrequited love.in which Gilbert lists all the reasons he loves Anne.





	it goes on and on

**Author's Note:**

> what if i...stopped writing for a few months ... and came back as if nothing had happened... haha, just kidding ... unless???

Gilbert was the son of a countryman. He was an early riser by blood and instinct, and he was sure he could never shake it off. Anne, however, was rather accustomed to rousing and sleeping late, usually working on her new novel well into the night.

He was sure that if he wasn’t around to remind her to eat or sleep at times, she would be a complete mess. Anne Shirley-Cuthbert Blythe was a passionate individual alright and she would not rest until her work was done, this was a wide known fact. Whenever she was cutting a deadline a bit close, she never stood still, her face always mildly concerned as she moved from room to room, a flurry of papers following after her.

But now, her face was relaxed and still, a small smile on her face as she dreamt. Gilbert always woke before her and took the time to admire his view. For years, he’d pined over her with no hope and he’d never allowed himself to look at her or note her subtle mannerisms, knowing full well that doing this would only make him fall deeper. But now, _now_, he could do so freely.

She was breathtaking, she always was, but right now, with the sun hitting her slender face just right, her peignoir slipping off her freckled shoulder, she looked ethereal. He relished in the view of her red hair sprawled all over the pillow and every little freckle speckled on her face like stars on a night sky; most of all, he enjoyed being next to her or simply being in her presence. 

Hit by a sudden bout of inspiration, he got out of bed, rather reluctantly, his feet touching the cold hardwood as he walked to his study. Gilbert reached into the second drawer and pulled out a well-worn piece of paper, one he’d had since he was seventeen and had first fallen for Anne. He smoothed the sheet, careful to not irritate the wrinkled corners, reading the first line, cringing at the handwriting of his youth.

_one hundred reasons why I love Anne._

  1. _Her hair reminds me of sophie’s_
  2. _She reads verses passionately, pouring her spirit into it_
  3. _Her strength_
  4. _She has faults, many of them_

Originally, he’d written it to get over her. Foolishly hoping that he could discern her faults and maybe, maybe, begin to regard her as only a friend. However, he soon discovered that learning of her flaws and other details only made her more endearing to him. After that, he stopped cataloging them, out of fear of unrequited love.

More reasons were added to the list when hope began to bloom within his chest, and he allowed himself to hope as he’d never allowed himself to do before. By the time their wedding came around, the list was more than three quarters complete, and by now it was almost done, only needing a few more additions, which wouldn’t be hard to add.

Their wedding anniversary was nearing and Gilbert hoped that the list would be an adequate gift, he very well knew that Anne preferred sentimentality over materialistic items. Although, every once in a while he would get her one of those puff-sleeved dresses she adored so much or gift her a dainty necklace from the boutiques she admired.

But for their first wedding anniversary… well, he hoped this would suffice. He, of course, had reserved seats for dinner and a show but this would be the main gift.

He grabbed a smooth ink pen, a gift from Jerry, and added a number to the list.

  1. _ you smile even when you sleep_

He had almost two weeks to finish the task, he was confident that he would complete the list by then. After all, he seemed to find a new reason to love her on a daily basis.

******************

There were times when Gilbert hated his profession. Sometimes, he would be content with his work and bask in the way his patients recovered. But on other days, the darker days when he couldn’t save someone, his heart felt heavy and agonizing, burying him in a pile of self-loathing and helplessness.

Today, he’d lost not only one but two patients on the table. One of them was merely a child, whose parent had barely been able to scrape some money for the surgery together. The girl, Annalise, was all smiles as she was prepped, blonde hair curling around her face, unaware to the fact that her life was about to be ripped from her, even though it’d just began. As the anesthesia, a rather new tactic, had begun to set in, she gripped his hand tightly, muttering something in a small voice, fear beginning to set in.

“I trust you,” she’d said, a small smile still on her face as her eyes closed. Gilbert fought down the lump in his throat as best he could, knowing that he needed to remain focused.

“When you wake up,” he promised, squeezing her small hand in his large one, “you’ll be good as new.”

He knew the risk when he began the surgery, the anesthesia was still a method he wasn’t accustomed to, the fact that she was so small didn’t help matters either. But he had taken the risk and he was a liar, a bitter, hopeful liar who couldn’t even save his patients – and now, he had to tell her parents that he’d failed them.

Their sobs were heartbreaking, the looks of devastation only injured him more and yet, they’d shaken his hand and murmured their thanks. Both retreating from his vison with their shoulders hunched and hearts empty. As the doctor was walking back home he wondered what they had said thank you for. Thank you for killing their only daughter? Or maybe it was a thank you for ripping their family apart. Whatever their reason was – he didn’t want it.

Gilbert stumbled through the threshold, still lost in his haze, and barely heard Anne’s voice coming from the study.

“Gil, is that you?” she asked, her voice a welcome distraction. The man in question placed all his belongings in their proper place before walking over towards her after answering with affirmation.

She knew him very well, frighteningly so, and immediately knew that something was wrong before he’d even stepped into the room.

“Oh, love,” she murmured as she padded over to where he stood, engulfing him in her slender arms. He welcomed the touch, desperate for any grounding before he drifted too far in his melancholy. In her arms he felt safe, enveloped in a cocoon of limitless love and understanding and yet the dreaded tears still threatened to free themselves.

Anne tightened her grip on him, almost as if she sensed his wallowing despair, and moved her hands to rest on his face, a sad smile splayed on her freckled face, “it’s not your fault, you know.”

Sometimes it was frightening how in tune the couple was with each other but most days, such as these, Gilbert realized how truly blessed he was to have someone as remarkable as Anne to accompany him through life.

Instinctively, Gilbert raised his hands to rest on his wife’s, rubbing small circles on her bare skin. The young doctor focused on her, willing the lump in his throat to go down, she was wearing one of his woolen sweaters with a pair of trousers that Ms. Stacy had gifted her after their graduation; unfortunately, not even the distraction of his alluring wife could make him forget his mistakes.

“It very well could’ve been my fault,” he replied, voice wavering slightly as he nuzzled into her gentle touch, both still standing in the doorway of their shared study.

“But it wasn’t,” she reaffirmed sternly, her blue eyes staring him down almost as if she was daring him to defy her. Her face softened slightly, sensing his slight discomfort, “Gil, I’m positive you did everything you could possibly do for them—”

“If I’d only found the second tumor sooner, we could’ve oper—”

“love, stop,” Anne interrupted, squeezing her eyes shut slightly as Gilbert ran a hand through his hair, both feeling slightly frustrated, “you can’t go through life worrying about what could’ve happened; otherwise, you’d never be able to live comfortably or even enjoy what you have. I’m not telling you to forget all about them because grieving is completely normal, even if they only briefly touched your life, but dwell on the happy parts of their lives, remember their smiles or laughter and that way you can truly honor them.”

Gilbert let his head rest on her shoulder, breathing in her scent, he knew she was right and he was a realistic person, he knew he couldn’t save everyone but even the thought of losing someone else, even if it was someone he barely knew made him ache. A deep ache that he should be used to by now, considering the fact that he’s lost so many.

But for now he would listen to her, he would remember all the good memories, just as she had suggested so many years ago. Anne led him towards their bed and enveloped them both in a soft cover, both aching from their long day.

Hours later, when Anne’s breathing had turned into light snores and he’d finally rested, he made his way to their study and pulled out the list once more.

  1. _ you accept my sadness and my anger_
  2. _ I feel safe when I’m with you_

And after a second thought he added:

  1. _ you love me even when i can’t seem to love myself_

******************************

Anne’s eyes were scrunched in concentration as she stared down at her manuscript, she’d been at it for most of the afternoon, unable to distract herself with anything else. Gilbert was technically not allowed into the study when she was working on an especially important piece, but she hadn’t eaten anything all day and he’d started to fret. Being a doctor and everything made him realize what stress could do to a human body and the toll it could take.

He’d only brought in tea and biscuits, knowing she might not eat anything else. Anne didn’t even blink as he set the tray down beside her, he settled on pulling a chair across from her, nerves tingling through his body.

“Anne,” he muttered firmly as he sat down, staring right at her, she only grunted in response slightly, engrossed in her work, “Anne, you have to eat.”

“Just leave it there, Gil. Thank you.” she responded, glancing up at him with a grateful smile before moving her attention back to her work, fully expecting him to leave. Instead, he stayed in place, not allowing himself to sway. Anne’s gaze fell on him again, noticing that he hadn’t moved, “what is it?”

“I just—I’m worried about you.” Gilbert admitted quietly, squirming slightly under her gaze, “I know you have to work, but you can’t just let all of it consume you.”

Anne stayed quiet for a second before putting her pen down and scooting her chair towards him, “I wasn’t aware of … of how you were feeling and I’m sorry that I’ve been focusing so much of my time on this,” she extended her ink covered hand, reaching for his and entangled their fingers together, “but I need you to understand that this is my work and there’s so much at stake with this novel. I promise it won’t always be like this, I just need to get through the deadline.”

She rested her forehead on his lightly, eyes sincere as she gazed at him, utterly taking his breath away, “and thank you for the food, Gil. I’ll try to keep up with it, I’m sorry if I worried you.”

“Of course,” he muttered hoarsely, still affected by her proximity, hand tugging on a red curl lightly, “just let me know if you need anything; anything at all, even if its food, water, some music, or even if you just want some company--”

“Gilbert, honey, I love you.” she interrupted, voice softening slightly as she looked up at him, “but please, I really need to work and I concentrate better when your distracting face isn’t staring at me.”

“Alright, alright,” he murmured playfully, picking up her cues as he held his hands up in surrender, enjoying the way she giggled slightly, “I’m leaving right now, wouldn’t want my gorgeous face to distract you.”

Gilbert heard her laugh behind him and was already half-way out the door when she called out his name, “would it be possible for you to get me those cheese buns from the Mellark Bakery? They’re simply to die for and I’ve been dreaming of them ever since we ate them last time.”

And well, he could never say no to her.

Before heading out to the bakery, he pulled the list out of his coat pocket and scribbled in the next number, smiling slightly as he thought of her.

  1. _ you always listen to what I have to say_
  2. _ you make time for me—even when you don’t have it_

_**************************************_

“When did you realize you loved me?” Gilbert asked softly, both their heads under blankets, sheltered from the chilly breeze coming in through the window. This was a question he’d always wanted to ask, but he simply lacked courage to do so up until a while back. He’d found a crumpled piece of paper stuffed into one of her coat pockets, upon reading it, he finally found the courage to ask her such a simple question. He always knew that Anne loved him, but there was still a fear—deeply rooted and tremendously absurd—that she never truly loved him.

Anne moved the blanket aside slightly and shuffled closer to him, eyes peeking out from the darkness. Under the guise of darkness, they were both still, absorbing each other’s words

“It’s truly one of my greatest laments and I fear I will never truly know,” she murmured, hand stroking his cheek slightly and he relished in the touch, “I had already plunged by the time I realized what had truly been in front of me all along.”

Gilbert smiled fondly, remembering their youth and wondering, how on earth he had deserved the girl beside him. She tangled their legs together, warming her cold legs with his warm ones, her touch almost stinging.

“But I do love you – always have and I always will.” She confessed, whispering slightly as he took in the sight of her, breath catching slightly, “back then your love was something I couldn’t accept, I could hardly believe that someone as talented as you wanted anything to do with me. Your love was bright; something too bright for the darkness of my world and it wasn’t until I felt truly safe, that I realized that I loved you. Realized that I knew all of your little ticks, even the one where you tap your foot slightly, and I realized that I loved you with my entire being—head, heart, and soul.”

Everything was quiet, the crickets and even night itself had stopped its song to listen to her speak. He follow her lips, enraptured by her voice and words alike. Gilbert wished he could use his words as eloquently as she did, maybe then he could express himself in an equal manner.

“Number 96,” he whispered after she’d fallen silent and as he was stroking her hair, “I love the way you speak, more so when you tell me you love me.”

Her serene face turned quizzical at his words, she was clearly unaware of their meaning but a slight blush was rising nonetheless. Gilbert pulled her towards him, relishing in her smell and closeness, he’d have to write down the most recent addition sometime soon, before he was too distracted by her. But for now, he thought calmly, it could wait. Right now, he had his whole world in his arms.

  1. _ I love the way you speak, even more so when you say you love me_
  2. _ you love me too, unconditionally_

****************************

“Finally!” Anne exclaimed as soon as he stepped back into the room, he tried not to chuckle at her eagerness, “Gil, it took you ages to find it, I’m half convinced you made it up on the spot.”

“As if,” he murmured playfully as he took a seat next to her, envelope in hand, “Now, I know this isn’t exactly a competition but I’m particularly confident that I have you beat.”

Anne smirked slightly, leaning towards him, already dangerously close, “I wouldn’t be so sure…” she whispered before leaning back and pulling a small parcel towards him sneakily, “you go first.”

To say he was nervous would be a gross understatement, Gilbert was almost trembling with both anxiety and excitement. He was absolutely positive that she would adore the gift, but even so, he buzzed with anticipation. Anne’s face was absolutely blank as he handed her the small envelope, and she smiled slightly as she opened it, he went absolutely still, awaiting her reaction.

“Could it be a dress order?” she wondered out loud, a grin on her face as she moved the envelope to the side, her eyes flitted to him quickly, “or maybe—”

She stopped talking as soon as her eyes landed on the worn page, eyes widening and smile dropping. Oh, Gilbert desperately hoped that was a good reaction.

Her mouth fell open slightly, blue eyes filling with tears as she read through the list. Inwardly, Gilbert cursed himself for not thinking of something better, she had probably been expecting something so much more elegant—not some list he’d made when he was seventeen.

“I know it’s not a particularly good gift, if you truly don’t like it we can go out and get you something right now--”

Anne’s steely eyes moved towards him rapidly, “not a good gift?” she exclaimed disbelievingly, as he cringed slightly, cursing his reasoning, “Gil, this is ….” _Horrendous_, he thought, _unbelievably horrible_.

“this is astonishing, truly. I can’t believe— you’ve truly had this since you were seventeen?” she asked in astonishment as she sat next to him, he released a baited breath, still half-convinced that she had hated it.

“Yes,” he whispered as she scooted closer, her hands reaching to caress his face, Gilbert easily responding to her touch. “I take it you liked it?”

“Liked it? Gilbert, I’m absolutely enamored with it.” Anne replied easily, nuzzling her face in to his neck, “you certainly created a marvelous gift, love.”

“Better than yours?” he asked teasingly, very much relieved that she’d liked it. A small part of him had wanted to keep the letter, to cherish and to remind him of all his mistakes. But giving it to Anne had been liberating in a way he hadn’t expected, almost as if handing another part of himself to her. Gilbert knew for certain that she would care and cherish it as much as he had.

Anne only smiled slightly, not answering the question and simply handing him the light parcel. He unwrapped it carefully, knowing that Anne gave attention to detail and had most likely spent a lot of care in wrapping the gift. Inside was a small frock, much too small to fit him, the only person it would fit would most likely be a …

His neck snapped while he turned to look at her, excitement bubbling in his stomach at the pure joy on her face, tears still slipping loose at the mere thought.

“Are you … Anne, are you expecting?” he asked rapidly, stammering slightly, hardly believing it and grasping at her hand slightly.

“Marilla isn’t too sure … but the symptoms are all there,” she responded giddily, a grin on her face that almost rivaled Gilbert’s, “but yes, it’s quite possible.”

He gathered her into his arms, grasping at any and every part of her, “a baby … oh lord, a tiny Anne,” he exclaimed joyfully as he stood and pulled her up with him, hugging her tightly, “Anne—a baby!”

“Yes, Gil,” she murmured pleasantly, shaking him slightly, clearly as excited as he was, “a child, our very own child.”

“Anne,” he said seriously, his hands stroking her cheeks as he stared at her intently, “you’re the most amazing being on this planet, you—wait, I need the list back.”

“what?” she asked, surprised by his rapid change of tone and the serious look on his face, but still handing him the list, “whatever for?”

Gilbert didn’t answer, instead he ran to their study and scribbled in one last number, knowing fully well that he would soon be starting a new list. After all, there would soon be a new individual to love and care for, one they would surely spoil. 

  1. _I love you even more because you gave me a family._

**Author's Note:**

> If you've put up with this all the way to the end: thank you.  
I sincerely hoped you guys enjoyed this and hope you guys have a great day. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated -- if you have any constructive criticism, let me know!


End file.
